How To Help Your ADD/ADHD Child in School

Today I was talking to a friend who has a child in school, and that child has ADD. I realized after eighteen years of teaching there are some real tips that might help parents of children that are struggling with ADD/ADHD.  Please note that I am not a doctor, and I do not have the ability to diagnose or treat any conditions.  I am simply speaking from experience, and want to help parents who may need some insight. (Make sure to check out our article on How to Make Your Child Feel Special on the First Day of School).

Please note that I am not pro-medication.  My stance on this issue is that some students do benefit from medication. However, I have seen some students really struggle with medication, so I believe in the least amount of medication as possible, and encourage parents to try as many all-natural remedies as possible.  I totally understand why parents take students off medication on weekends and during the summer.

I’m hoping these tips help, and please comment your insights as well!

1. Not every teacher wants to help every child. There….I said it first.  I have been on the “inside,” and I can tell you that yes, some teachers are miserable. While the majority are not miserable and many love children, chances are you might encounter at least one teacher like that within your child’s thirteen years of school.  I’ve seen teachers have their favorites, and I’ve seen teachers who truly do seem to pick on one child.  On the flip side of that I have seen some terrible parenting over the years. My point is that you need to go into school meetings knowing that no one is perfect, and no matter where you, your child, or the teacher are in life, you need to stay as positive as possible this year for your child.

2. Be available. You are the only true advocate for your child.  Be available for the teacher if he/she needs you via phone, email, text, etc.  However, if you have the nagging teacher who calls every day to tell you that Susie got into a fight with a child or didn’t listen to the music teacher, politely ask them to either keep a written log, email you, or call when there is something you can actually do about the situation.  I have seen situations where the parent is called way too much, and it ends up discouraging the parent instead of helping solve the problem.

3. This is only one year.  As a reading specialist there are times where I have a student for multiple years until they exit the program.  However, classroom teachers see your child for one year and compare peers against peers. There have been situations where I have had to tell teachers that even though a student is struggling or isn’t making as much desired progress, they are still growing and have multiple years to learn and grow. While I’m not saying that we should let lack of progress go and not try to meet goals, development isn’t the same for each child.  Just remember that even if this year is tough, it’s nine months and you can use the summer to catch up on some content if your child is sturggling in the classroom.

4. Stay super organized.  The more structured and organized an environment you can create  for your child, it should help them stay more focused. While I know this isn’t always the case, I have seen the consistent structure and organization of home/school help some students meet goals and succeed in school. Remember that not all teachers are super organized or structured, so if you have some say in picking your child’s teacher, try to keep these qualities in mind.  Even if one teacher doesn’t seem as nice as the other grade-level teacher, your child may do better with the structure and organization of the less favorite teacher.

5. Talk to other parents. If your school has an ADD/ADHD support group, find out which teachers deal best with children who have the same issue. Schedule a meeting with the principal or guidance counselor if you have to and express your concerns and ask which teacher you feel will be better for your child.

6. Put it in writing. In Pennsylvania, we have an option called a 504 if students do not qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) as learning disabled/gifted.  The 504 often covers students who have ADD/ADHD by creating a legally binding document with adaptations for your child. This might include extra time on tests, having a test read aloud, etc.  Make sure to keep copies of this document to share with each teacher and to help with building transitions (for example, if you child goes to middle school, these papers can sometimes get “lost in the cracks”).

7. Zip it. If you have a rough year with a particular teacher, try not to express too much of that in front of your child.  Kiddos pick up on our negative talk and body language, and you could be “shooting yourself in the foot” so to speak. You need to try to keep the teacher on your side as much as possible, and even if you get the teacher from the Black Lagoon, try to stay positive in front of your little one. If they’re old enough to understand that some teachers aren’t always nice, try to explain to them that this can be a character building year (I do NOT agree with this if the teacher is excessively picking on your child or makes your child feel poorly about themselves or their academic performance).  If your child is losing self-esteem or really feels he/she is singled out, then I would be the first parent in the principal’s office. Again, you are their advocate, so only you know the best way to help your child through a tough year.

8. Talk about it. If your school has a guidance counselor they can often be a resource to help your child think through tasks and learn to organize their thoughts, desk, and assignments. Talk with your child about the steps you take to stay organized and complete tasks. I call this a “think aloud.” You’re basically thinking out loud for your child to see how you prioritize, complete tasks, and manage daily living skills.

9. Sleep on it. I know many parents of my ADD students have commented that their child has had trouble sleeping.  Having a consistent sleep schedule can really help your child perform better in school.  This means a structured bedtime routine and bedtime. Also, please make sure that your child gets the recommended hours of sleep (as per their doctor/pediatrician).  I recommend all natural remedies for sleep disturbances to my parents like massage, teas (I have found great results with Celestial Seasoning’s Tension Tamer tea. Sleepy Time tea is almost too strong, but can also be used to help your little one relax).  As always, check with your child’s physician first. I also recommend an essential oil like lavender to promote sleep wellness.

10. The basics. Obviously, habits like eating right and exercising help everyone, so that is a given for children who are struggling with ADD/ADHD. However, I do know that many parents complain that the medications make their child lose weight and not want to eat as much. Make sure to talk to your child’s pediatrician for tips on how to get your child to maintain a healthy appetite.

11. Behavior plans. For students who struggle with behavior because of their ADD/ADHD, remember that your child’s brain neurotransmitters don’t work the same way as most children. Many times these children may be impulsive, and act before they think.  It may benefit your child to be placed on a behavior plan at home, school, or both to help provide motivators to stay focused throughout the day.  However, please remember that rewards don’t have to be extrinsic. You can provide intrinsic rewards such as time with a pet, extra video game time, or other rewards.

12. Keep it visual. Keep a large calendar in the house (I prefer dry erase) that shows schedules, due dates, and appointments. Remind your child daily about upcoming assignments and help them chunk assignments into manageable daily tasks. For example if they have a book report due in two weeks, help them break down chapter readings and enough time to write the assignment.

13. Try an auditory augmentation system. This is basically a microphone system where children where children wear an earpiece and the teacher’s voice is amplified. While these students are not hearing impaired, sometimes this can help (however, for some ADD/ADHD children it might also be distracting).

14. Develop social cues.  Sometimes students with this condition find social situations very difficult. They can be impulsive, rude, and interrupt. However, they also can get their self-esteem hurt very easily. Develop a signal system to help them know when something is socially wrong and then talk about it in private. This could be tapping your finger on the side of your face, on your nose, etc.

15. Keep them moving.  It does seem that these students really do better when they are in movement activities. I realize that video games can help keep them calm at home (and quiet), they will do better socially and hopefully have less sleeping issues if tech time is limited.

It’s also very important that parents of these children take part in self-care because it can be exhausting if your child is having behavior problems resulting from this condition.  Please know that I have seen many parents exhausted by some children who have severe ADHD especially in relation to behavior.  Sometimes it feels like you aren’t reaching them, but please know that the majority of my ADD/ADHD students have turned out just fine! Don’t panic!

Many times these children are highly intelligent, which makes it even more frustrating for parents. They don’t understand how their child can be so intelligent, but can’t remember homework assignments, or don’t even hand in completed assignments at times! This can be very frustrating, so make sure you take care of yourself too!

I hope this article helps you see that you are the best teacher, coach, and advocate for your child. My prayer is that you find a teacher who offers mutual respect and support for your child.  Also, please comment your tips to help other parents who may be struggling with this issue.