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I’ve been planning on writing this post for several weeks now, and I’m just now getting around to it!! Many DFS readers know that hubby and I are expecting, and I’m currently at 22 weeks! However, some readers may not know that our son is adopted from Guatemala, and that this is our first pregnancy. After 16 years of marriage, we are pregnant for the first time! We started TTC (Trying to conceive) shortly after we were married, and it wasn’t until about a year of trying that we were told that we would probably never conceive naturally. This was by far the worst pieces of news I ever received in my life. The doctors told us that even with in vitro our chances were very slim, because I had high FSH and we had a multitude of issues. However, I decided to wait on the Lord, and we tried on our own until about 2004.
It was tough being infertile and being a Christian, because many churches preach that children are a blessing from the Lord, which they are! (Read my story about the Prayer of the Persistent Widow)! However, when you don’t receive that blessing you start to wonder what is wrong with you. All our friends and family would say things like, “Just relax, you’ll get pregnant eventually,” “Go on a vacation. That’s how we did it,” or even better yet, “Why don’t you foster. There are millions of children out there who need loving homes.” We felt that maybe other church members were right and that we should try fostering. Our first placement was a 12-year-old boy, and the agency never prepared us adequately (I don’t think any agency could have) to face what we encountered. The child came with a myriad of emotional issues, and we had to take him for meetings with his mother every week. It was one of the toughest seasons of my life, but I can tell you that it was not a cure for my infertility or the emotions that went with it.
In early 2005 I was praying about IVF versus adoption. I had ordered a free DVD from America World, and the one DVD included Stephen Curtis Chapman’s story of adopting his little girls from China. I was instantly in love with the idea of having a baby from another country. However, I didn’t want to spend my entire life in a fishbowl or have my child feel “different.” I prayed every night for several weeks for the Lord’s directions about whether to adopt or complete the IVF cycle we had started. It finally came to a head one night at 2:00a.m. when I was up with insomnia. I couldn’t sleep, and at the time we only had a satellite with Christian programming. I was watching Oral Roberts preach, and at the end he said they had a 24-hour prayer line. I was desperate and really just needed someone to talk to! I called the number and the lady prayed with me over the phone, and it was a beautiful prayer. I hung up and it was now 2:00a.m. and the shows were changing to James Robinson’s daily talk show. His first words were, “Today our special guest is Mary Beth Chapman talking about why you should adopt.” I knew instantly that this was my word from the Lord! He definitely answered quickly after my prayer! LOL Nine months later, my son came off the plane from Guatemala, and he’s been my boy ever since!
About two years after he came home, hubby and I decided to try and IVF cycle. It was extremely expensive, and we had three embryos, and transferred all three, but none of them took and our pregnancy test was negative. I was devastated. Not just about the negative test, but also about the amount of money that we couldn’t get back. Unless you’ve been through infertility, you can’t imagine the financial strain it puts on your family. We waited another 5 years before heading back to a different clinic. This time we went to Shady Grove Fertility.
I started this past spring by meeting with the doctor first. She discussed all my IVF options with me, and we chose the one we felt was best for our family. We didn’t tell ANYONE except our mothers, because we needed some help with after school daycare and help with travel at times. However, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone in case it didn’t work this time. I just couldn’t go through the pain of having to call everyone and let them know our news. There were many steps to our cycle, and tests that can be painful, plus the actual IVF procedure itself. I had over 100 shots by the time I was 10 weeks along in my pregnancy, so you can only imagine how sore I was, and even had a tough time sitting down! Ouch!
(This is a sonogram pic from out 20 week ultrasound. The tech has NO IDEA why the word “persistence” is on the screen, but I know!)!
About 4 days after transfer I took a walk and prayed to the Lord about everything, crying and weeping as I walked up the street. I had to be quiet and listen, but I heard His voice say, “I will justify this situation, go ahead and test.” After our transfer we were supposed to wait two weeks, and even though I had heard God tell me to test, I was scared. However, I woke up one morning a few days later and ate breakfast only to find out I was still hungry for olives and cheese. I thought this was really odd at breakfast, so I thought I’d try a test that evening after we finished coaching our son’s soccer team. I came home and took the test, looked at it quickly, and saw only one line. After about 5 minutes I yelled for my husband to come look at the test and told him it was negative. He quickly came in and said, “Let me look at it. (30 second pause) That’s not negative, that’s a positive!” I was thoroughly convinced he had read it wrong, but when I looked again, I realized the test was positive! We couldn’t believe our excitement!
Of course, I thought pregnancy would be the end of my worrying and waiting. However, once you are pregnant, then you have all the concerns of the first 12 weeks, etc. Now that I’m at 22 weeks, I’m still praying, but I know the Lord has a plan for our family, and I just keep taking it one day at a time!
CHECK OUT OUR PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT Video
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