Five kids in, it still strikes me sometimes. While I love my kids with all that I am, it isn’t always easy being a parent. Every aspect can be a new juggling act, tossed on already struggling arms. While every family is different, I would love to share some of the things that work for us, through a weekly series of posts called Parenting Can Be Hard.
As I sit here, my youngest is staring up at me, her bottom lip just starting to form the pout before the cry. Her youngest big brother is behind me, hiding under a blanket, as he plays some game, because he knows he’s supposed to be in bed. There’s laundry on the couch that needs to be folded, and I haven’t done dinner dishes. My house is calling from several angles for me to do chores, and my children are calling for me to be Mommy in various ways. I see that, and I hear it. Part of me is pulling to get up and do it all. I think that’s something most parents have an issue with. There is so much calling for us, and there is so little time to do it all.
Right now, I’m not getting up. I am doing my best to block out all the factors distracting me, because my husband has it under control. I have started to get up earlier, and the time between the kids’ bedtime and my own, is my time to do as I please. Right now, that is writing, after which, I plan to hang out with my husband and do nothing but enjoy his company. This is a new concept, and I am still working hard to accept it, but I need it. As parents, we all still need time just for ourselves.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what it is you do to relax and shed stress. You deserve a chance to kick back and enjoy yourself. For me it’s reading and writing. For my husband, it’s watching a movie, going for a run, and once a week being able to have ‘Guy Night,’ where he plays a game over Skype with his best friends, just like they have since high school.
Not all families will work like that. Maybe you will have to really search for a way to fit your choice of relaxing activities into your life. Maybe your thing is listening to a certain type of music on the way to or from work. Maybe you prefer yoga, but finding the time seems truly impossible with a toddler tugging on you from dawn until you drop into bed at night. What about setting your mat out during nap time, or making a small area in a corner, where your little one can stretch, without disturbing you. Get up a little earlier, or set out a coloring book.
One of the hardest things about finding the time is taking it away from something. I had a really hard time not getting up to attend to my children’s every beckoning call. It took my husband for me to realize how unhealthy that was for me. Skeptical? I challenge you to try it for the rest of the month. Get your family in on it, too. Suggest twenty minutes of constructive quiet time each day. Encourage your kids to start or continue healthy stress relievers, like reading or writing, while you enjoy yours. A child that sees you take a few minutes to decompress will pick up on that, and with your encouragement and guidance, can build a good lifetime habit of setting even a small amount of time to take care of himself or herself. You will both be leading a way to a healthier lifestyle.
How do you take time for yourself? I’d love to read about it in the comment section below!
Copyright: yarruta / 123RF Stock Photo
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